It Occurs To Me...

...for those times when a blog is too much but twitter isn't enough.

Mar 24

Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
New Yorker: No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.
Tourist: And that, your honor, is when I beat his arrogant New York City ass.
Judge: Sorry about that, we get a lot of these self-righteous windbags. Case dismissed, he had it coming.
(If you don't use Tumblr, the above probably won't make any sense. Nor if you are a snootier-than-thou blowhard who "wouldn't be caught dead at an 'chain' restaurant." Life is short, unclench your ass.)