Apr
18
Thanks, Pretzel Man
- (Scene at baseball game, this past Monday)
- Ethan: I want a pretzel, can I get a pretzel?
- Me: Of course, I love their pretzels too.
- Ethan: When can we get it?
- Me: In a little while.
- Ethan: Can we get it now? I'm *really* hungry.
- Me (knowing he really wasn't): Sure thing kid, let's go
- Ethan: Why are all these people in line?
- Me: Because they want something to eat too.
- Ethan: Like pretzels?
- Me: Maybe, they have other things too, like hot dogs, or..
- Ethan: I don't want a hot dog, I want a pretzel
- Me: I know, we'll get you a pretzel, I was just saying they have those too.
- Me (to the man behind the absurdly busy counter): Can I have two pretzels and a diet coke?
- Pretzel Man: Sure. (Puts two on a tray in front of me) That'll be $19 (I don't remember the exact amount, but, you know I'm close)
- Ethan: I don't want *that* kind of pretzel.
- Me: That's the only kind they have.
- Ethan: But I don't want *that* kind of pretzel.
- Me: That's the only kind they have.
- Ethan (starting to tear up now): But I don't want *that* kind of pretzel.
- Me: Ok, do you want something else?
- Ethan (in full "tears in the eyes but I'm not going to cry" mode): No (sniff sniff sniff)
- Me: They have.... (turning around to the board) peanuts.... popcorn...
- Ethan: Popcorn!
- Me: Ok, popcorn. (to Pretzel Guy) Can I give you one of these pretzels back (which haven't been touched by anyone except him) and get popcorn instead?
- Pretzel Man: Sure.
- Me: Sorry about that.
- Pretzel Man: You know, they act like kids sometimes... because they're kids.....
- Me (out loud): Yeah (smile, nod)
- Me (thinking): I was less worried about him not eating a pretzel, and more worried about the possibility that your food service had a "If it hits your tray, you buy it" policy that was going to charge me $5 for twisted fried bread that he didn't want. But thanks for using my personal frustration as a moment to try and make me feel like a lousy parent.
- Coda: The pretzel sucked. I don't know why these places changed from The Traditional Big Pretzel that you used to get everywhere, but all of the new models are lousy.
